Crying
by TheNamesNotImportant
Summary: He grabbed onto his brother's hands. His breath felt tight and it took everything he had to keep the tears from spilling down his face. He tried to meet the solemn eyes looking down at him, but couldn't. He drew in a shuddering breath. His mouth opened and closed like a fish on land, dying for water, knowing that if he spoke he would cry. "Please."


He grabbed onto his brother's hands. His breath felt tight and it took everything he had to keep the tears from spilling down his face. He tried to meet the solemn eyes looking down at him, but couldn't. He drew in a shuddering breath. His mouth opened and closed like a fish on land, dying for water, knowing that if he spoke he would cry.

"Please." And a sob wracked his body, the tears running from his eyes like deer from a hunter. "Please, please don't leave."

"I can't stay." A gloved hand brushed the strands of delicate white hair from his pale face. He grabbed the hand still holding his tighter. He rubbed at his stubborn tears which only fell faster.

"Lukas-" A hiccough broke his muted voice. He looked up and met his eyes. His brow was pinched, the corners of his mouth pulled down, his normally ashen face somehow even whiter. A soft sigh came from the older brother. He moved forward and enveloped his smaller frame, one arm pulling him tight and the other hand carding through his hair.

"Emil, I have to leave, I'm sorry." He gripped his coat and sobbed into his chest. His older brother pressed his face into his hair, humming quietly.

"Please. I don't want to be alone. I don't want- want...not again." He shook his head, the black wool coat scratching at his face and absorbing his tears.

"You won't be alone, Matthias will still be here," he comforted, muffled by his hair.

"He's no good." He was forced to turn his head to the side as he already struggled to draw in breaths before they were knocked out of his lungs without the filter of his brother's jacket.

"Come now, he's not that bad." He forced his head to nod.

"He's awful and annoying. I want you to stay with me."

The hand moving through his hair stopped. Lukas pulled back, turned Emil's head to face him, and placed his hands on his shoulders. He bent down and met his eyes. "I'm going to tell you a secret, so you need to listen." Emil tried in vain to stop his sobs and struggled to nod. Lukas spoke so that he only could barely hear. "The reason Matthias acts so annoying is that he doesn't want to be alone either. He hates it. I need you to do something for me while I'm gone. He's weak right now and needs help. You need to keep him company as well. Stay with him and I'm certain he'll make sure you're never alone. He gets better if you stick with him, so do that for me. Keep one another safe, okay?"

His body shook as he stared into his brother's face. Lukas' deep indigo eyes shined with a watery gloss like polished glass. His tears fell with renewed energy.

"Hey, promise me you will do that." He nodded numbly.

Lukas pulled him back into a hug, holding him close. He swayed gently, eyes closed. They remained, with only Emil's sobs and the wind outside breaking the silence, until a low cough broke through the room. He gripped his brother tighter. Lukas sighed. He pressed a kiss to the top of his head and slowly pried the hands from his back, ignoring the quiet pleas to not.

His older brother met his blurry gaze and nodded. He backed away and turned to the open door where the Berwald loomed, his head politely turned aside. A cold gust ripped through the doorway, adding to Emil's shivering.

He walked away and out the door, each footstep echoed by Emil's heart pounding in his head. He grabbed at the space where his brother had been. He didn't look back. Berwald stared at him, face shadowed. The door slammed with a final thud like a judges gavel declaring a sentence.

He collapsed to the ground. His stomach turned and his body shuddered violently. He dry heaved between sobs. He wanted to scream but his throat was raw and nothing came out. His head pounded, the world was blurred. Just earlier that week he had been planning a trip with Lukas, now he wasn't sure when he would see him again. Or if, for that matter.

He struggled to his feet with weak legs after the heaving subsided finally. He turned to the hallway. Through his limited vision he could make out Matthias still leaning against the wall, slumped. He couldn't see, but he knew the large gash across his cheek and the black eye were still prominent on Matthias' exhausted face. He wobbled towards him.

"Matthias," he croaked out. He rubbed one eye, clearing his sight.

"I'm sorry. I'll let you be." He started to leave.

He lurched forward, grabbing at the man. His reach fell short and the ground rushed to meet him. He was stopped short of slamming into the wood by a scrabbling grip on his shoulders. He dragged himself up and wrapped his arms around Matthias. Matthias flinched.

When Emil buried his head in his shirt, he froze. He had stopped sobbing and his tears fell silently instead. The room was deafeningly quiet.

The man wrapped his own arms around him tightly. Even weakened his grip was crushing, but in this instance it was comforting. Emil squeezed him. A sharp intake of breath as he pushed against a wound made him apologize. Matthias shook his head.

"It's fine, kid." He didn't respond but didn't squeeze him again.

"It's fine. I'm fine, he's fine, you're fine, it's all okay. It'll all be okay, kid. As long as we're alive, we'll make it out alright." Matthias coughed, his chest rattling. He groaned. He covered it with another, fake, cough. Blood soaked through the cloth bandages and shirt. Emil ignored it.

"Besides, he'll be back soon- like he always is, yeah?" His voice broke. He pressed his face closer to his chest and gave a short nod.

He didn't, but at least he wasn't alone while he was gone.


End file.
